Cadre correspondent Jen N. checkin in after the much needed tri-mester break. Click above...
Ever wonder how calories get in food to begin with? Ever think about why it is that liver is good for you and peanut butter cup will make you fat? Why couldn’t the human race be designed to sit around and lose weight instead of having to run around to lose it? See these are the deep question I think about at night. These are the questions that keep me up at night and distract me from my homework.
We can put a man on the moon (supposedly, but there is a rumor
that it was all done with lights , wires and mirrors), but we
can’t figure out how to stay in a size 8 (for guys that
equates to a size 34 and that is at the waste not under the belly).
What is wrong with this picture? ( read this in an Andy Rooney
voice if you can and if you can’t just picture Don reading
Please see Resolutions on p 2
From the Wire..
SHARK DIVER ADMITS DRUG DEPENDENCY, BLAMES FIRST-GRADE TEACHER
(AP) Santa Barbara, CA- Jennifer Neuhauser, Correpondant
"It's all Cynthia's fault," was the statement made by Don "Sharkman" Barthelmess in the newsgroups this week. The shark-diving expert has failed to post first in a newsgroup for several days, and cadre mates were beginning to wonder what would cause such a delayed response. "I was starting to get worried myself," said friend Ray "Rocket Scientist" Axmacher. "It was very unlike Don to not post first and proceed to rub all of our noses in it, like potty-trained puppies." When confronted about this slackerness by Annamarie "Betty Crocker" Capaldi, Barthelmess clearly pointed an accusing finger at cadre member Cynthia "Adair" Lynch, local first-grade teacher, and driver of a silver Porsche. "She turned me on to those slacker pills and all I do now is sleep late and ponder ways to procrastinate," said Barthelmess Friday morning. Other cadre mates rejoiced at Barthelmess' defeat. Christine "I survived the fires" Wasulko commented,
"I'm here before Don too! Wow! Way to go Annamarie."
Please see Slacker on p.3